Karla Lant

Freelance Writer, Editor and Professor

Three Surprising Things That Won’t Kill Your Laptop

In the Thunderdome match between kids and electronics, only one will leave the dome. Sadly, that one will need a diaper change.

In the Thunderdome match between kids and electronics, only one will leave the dome. Sadly, that one will need a diaper change.

When you think about expensive, high-end electronics you probably also assume that their owners ought to take care of them. I used to think so too, until I worked at home on what is undoubtedly one of the best laptops for using while raising a toddler. Now, I am here to report that there is a surprising payload of punishment that won’t kill a basic laptop (and I am also here to recommend that you try none of this at home).

If you are the kind of person who subjects your laptop to this sort of abuse, there’s hope beyond good luck. The computer design industry has been innovating in the area of indestructible laptops.

Piping Hot Cocoa and Your Laptop

Yes, it’s true: you can douse a laptop with an entire large, ceramic mug of VERY hot cocoa and still use it again. It turns out this is also true for beer, slow-dripping soda leaking out of a can and cough syrup. When you get your laptop wet – and working with a little kid, I promise, you will – place it in a bin of dry rice. Cover. Say a few solemn words, and wait.

Or, if you know this is your kind of problem, check out the Getac B300 laptop. This is one of the most waterproof notebooks made. It has MIL-STD 810G and IP65 certifications which mean that you can spray it with water from all directions without hurting it. While it is not formally tested for cocoa resistance, I am optimistic.

Think this thing cares about cocoa? Think again.

Think this thing cares about cocoa? Think again.

Image via Getac

Round Two.

Homemade Play-Doh and Other Unmentionables: Not Soft on Laptops

After a great deal of stirring together and cooking flour, salt, water and food coloring, you too can have a large wad of homemade Play-Doh. If you do find yourself in possession of such a lump of awesome, there is something you could do, but probably should not, to your laptop. You could slowly press one whole cup of soft, warm Play-Doh in between each and every key, and of course into the ports and disc drive as well.

(As a matter of fact, as you can see from reading this cool article about how to intentionally destroy your laptop, at least one person commenting thinks it’s a good idea to mix Play Doh and thermite to create a home explosive. Neat!)

If you’d like to stop this Play Doh problem before it starts, check out the Toughbook 31. One of its best features is the locking port cover designed to prevent anything from leaking inside the computer. And if you do decide to blow it up at home, at least you can unlock the ports and use homemade plastique.

You'll need plastique to get anywhere with this baby.

You’ll need plastique to get anywhere with this baby.

Image via Panasonic

Like Sands Through the Hourglass: So Goes my Laptop’s Life

How many grains of rainbow-colored sand are in a souvenir glass bottle like this from the State Fair of Arizona? I don’t know, but I do know that however many it is, it takes a good long time to get them out of your laptop’s innards, and they add a sort of odd, high-pitched wheezing sound to your machine.

Think of it as white noise.

Or, you know what? Take the ultimate step in indestructibility for your laptop and get this indestructible laptop case. It’s shockproof, waterproof and dirtproof. You can even run it over with your car. Or just work at home with your child, so long as you don’t open the case. Is it a coincidence that next to the headline of the article describing the laptop there is a Stride Rite ad? I think not.

This is no accident. Advertisers mostly know what they're doing.

This is no accident. Advertisers mostly know what they’re doing.

Image via Mashable

You might want to know what laptop I’ve been using; after all, it’s clearly one of the best laptops on the market for an unforgiving home office terrain. It’s a MacBookPro, and while it’s not rated like its rugged cousins the Toughbook or the Getac, it’s toddler tested.

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This entry was posted on January 24, 2013 by .
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